This screams potential.
MaestroRage already summed up everything I would say actually. Those melodies are beautiful, but the execution isn't. Oh wait, he already said that.
How would you like this song to be remixed by me? Because the one thing I hate the most is seeing great music badly presented. If you will give me a chance, I'll remix it in my style of composing, but of course you will be credited as the person who originally thought of such an awesome melody.
What do you say? =)